Jack and Jill (formerly Andy and Brandy) have been living with us for a while. Would I ever expect to fall in love with them? No, I hate small dogs. Ok, so I don't hate small dogs, I actually love all dogs. However, I didn't ever imagine I would EVER want to own a small dog. Now I don't ever ever ever want to let Jill's little lazy eye and strange toes out of my sight. (Secret time, I like Jill better, shhhhh everyone else likes Jack and they would revolt against me).
It's coming to that time where I'm going to have to actively find them new homes. No home is good enough. Well, that's not ture. They deserve the best and the best exists, I just have to find it. For now, I'll savor the last few days with puppy love and get out all my complaining about the scent of urine and poop.
And I'd give up forever to touch you Because I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life Because sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me Because I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies And you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me Because I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me Because I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me Because I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am
Did you know that as of tonight I am officially ONE THIRD of the way through my first semester of law school? I bet you didn't. Kind of crazy, I know. Time is going by way too quickly and I am overwhelmed with the amount of work and time I could be putting into school, but for right now I need to sit and reflect.
Did I mention that Trent and Julie are back? WOOOOOooooOO
OOOoooOO (yes, I am THAT excited). Not this past weekend, but the weekend before that they came up to the Bay Area with me to have some fun and spend time with m
y parents. Ok, so let me just tell you that I fall more and more in love with San Francisco every time I visit, especially as I am entering my adult years. Drinking an alcoholic concoction at the Cheesecake Factory on top of the city is way more fun than a raspberry lemonade. We went on a roller coaster boat in the bay (ROCKET BOAT!), which was way more fun than you could even imagine. Spending time with friends from home is always good. Spending time with friends from Santa Barbara is always great. Mixing the two? Perfection.
Now this week I've been back to work at DAWG and babysitting. Let me just give you a little mini lecture. DAWG is a non-profit organization that I work at 15 hours a week. I actually end up working many more hours than that, so I volunteer there as well. You would think that I may get frustrated that a lot of my time gets sucked up volunteering, but I don't. Why? I care so much about this organization. There are so many flaws, but at the end of the day that doesn't matter at all. What does matter is how many animals lives they're saving. Did you know that some shelters have to put HUNDREDS of dogs to sleep a year? Take Camarillo, for instance, which I've heard has to put 30% of their population down a week, totaling
almost 50 dogs PER WEEK. At DAWG, we make every effort to reduce this number. We try and make shelter life a little easier for the dogs that have taken up residency with us, and we do everything we can to help people that can't take care of their dogs anymore because of some hardship (the hardest part of the job for sure). It is a cause that is completely worth my time and money as well as yours if you have some of either to spare.
The point of this little plug is to let the four of you that read my blog know that sometimes you find passion where you least expect it. I've always loved dogs, but I never knew the devastation that some endure. I started working and found that I could do way more for an organization than I ever imagined possible. We may be young and poor, but we have a lot more power and say in the world than we might think.
Today Ash and I went out to brunch. I'm sitting there at the Gaucho cafe and look out across the lagoon and I go...what? I live here? At any given time in Santa Barbara you are either looking at the ocean or mountains. Yeah, sometimes I feel isolated and I need to get out of here, but I have it pretty darn good.
What is natural beauty? Why is it that I think the ocean is the most beautiful thing, but my grandmother saw the desert as truly amazing? I mean, I can appreciate the beauty in almost anything. I think the puppies living at our house right now are beautiful. Yeah, Jill looks a little retarded and her eyes point in opposite directions, but she's beautiful.
Why do some people seem to appreciate natural beauty way more than others? Does everyone actually appreciate beauty equally, it's just that some are afraid to appear too sensitive or just have a shorter attention span so they don't verbally acknowledge it?
Why is music such an emotional experience? Why is it that EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE loves music. Is it because the singers and songwriters are expressing emotions that we have trouble expressing ourselves? When we hear these emotions it makes us feel like we are not alone? But then why do only some people love poetry?
Music always seems to make me feel better. If I need to get pumped, feel loved, celebrate, mourn, whatever, there's always the right song. When there's a new song on the radio it feels like a present. When an artist I love is coming out with a new album, I count the days and sometimes even pre-order. I save up money for months to make it to a live show. I cry, dance, smile, laugh at live shows. Music is something I connect with people over. If someone likes the same song or artist, there's an immediate reason to be friends.
Music lightens the mood, makes me miss someone, makes me regret something, makes me laugh about something I did. If a boy plays music, the
y're automatically more attractive. If a girl plays music or has a pretty voice, I want to be like her.
People quote lyrics, people quote musicians. If so
meone hasn't been to college, but they've made a career out of music, they're respected. Music is respected. Even the industry is respected.
I'm not going to say that some day I'll be a musician. I won't. I can't sing, I can't memorize notes, I can't write lyrics. Music will, however, always speak through me.
Music is the biggest cliche to ever exist. However, like most cliches, it's true and everyone knows it.
A crowded room is full of empty faces The deepest conversation full of lies Another night with all my friends The kind you never see again I wonder if they see through my disguise
And I want to say That I can't hold back And I might be wrong But it's all I have
Come take me home tonight Come take me home I need you now I'm lost without you A million miles And I will find you So take me home
It's 3 am and I can't sleep without you I think I found the perfect words to say A satellite transmits my voice And sometimes we don't have a choice I wake you up from half a world away
And I tried so hard Tried to be so strong But you see the cracks My defense is gone
Come take me home tonight Come take me home Oh, I need you now I'm lost without you A million miles But I will find you
Come take me home tonight Come take me home
Oh, come take me home tonight Come take me home
Come take me home tonight (A satellite transmits my voice) (Sometimes we don't have a choice) Come take me home (I wake you up from half a world away)
I need you now I'm lost without you I'm holding on 'Til I can find you
I've never been a huge reader. I blame it on my parents for forcing me to read all summer long every summer since I could read. When I start to enjoy reading, I run out of time to read. Like now. I have so many things I want to read, and yet, I start law school in a matter of weeks. Soon I will be reading very dry material (I can very much enjoy dry material, so that's good news). I don't know what to do until then. It's like there are too many things I would like to read so I just don't read anything. Oh well.
I love Santa Barbara. Even though there are many many things that are terribly wrong right now, I can't help but love where I live. It's just so beautiful and happy and lovely. I wish all of my friends and family would move here so I would never have to leave, even for a weekend.
Anyway, I am so busy these days. I have three jobs, but they are all fun so I might as well be playing all day long. It would be nice to never have a real job and instead just have a bakery forever and ever. I think I'll be a lawyer for a few years to make bank so that Marcella and I can start our bakery and I can do photo on the side and practice law when I wanted to exercise my mind. All while living on the mesa, blocks from the dog beach where I will walk my large dogs. I like it. In fact, I LOVE it.
I haven't posted in a while. I've been pretty busy, to say the least. Two of my good friends moved away, I turned 21, graduated, moved, got a new job, kept the old job, my step-brother got married, and I got into law school. Time has been an absolute blur and life has been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm done with college, but am still going to be at school and thank goodness I will not have to leave Santa Barbara any time soon.
My roommates are amazing. I'm having so much fun with them in our new adorable house with the hobbit door. Yeah, getting to IV can be a pain, but we are working it out and I can tell that it's going to be a gooooood year.
I need Trent and Julie to come back. I miss them mucho and days like 4th of July make it sink in more and more. It doesn't feel right to celebrate things like my birhday and graduation either without their goofy faces. They're working their kabooties off though so I hope that means they'll be back soon.
New job, amazing. I am having an interesting day today though. I brought home a dog named Callie this week. She stayed with us for four days. She slept with me, walked with me, and sometimes, yes, talked with me (I did most of the talking). She was precious and I wanted her so bad, but I knew I couldn't have her. I got attached, BUT knew that I needed to find her a home. I did just that. I sent her home this morning with a couple that I think will provide her with awesome amounts of love and exercise. I have such mixed emotions. I'll miss her a lot, but there will be other puppies to bring home and they will need our love just as much.
With that, I have to go advertise some more puppies. Hopefully I'll write back soon.
There is exactly one month until my birthday. Normally, I am not a huge fan of my birthday. Actually, I would say until last year, I liked the idea that I was a year older and that I got presents, a party, and a little extra love, but I didn't really like the attention that comes along with it. Then last year changed everything. I had the time of my life. What did I do differently you may ask? Virtually nothing, but it was a blast.
Thus, we are approaching another birthday. This time it's the big 2-1. Sure, I am excited that I will be allowed to drink. As silly as it is, I feel like the right to drink is a passage into adult hood. I mean, they're called "adult beverages" aren't they? I am excited to be allowed to order a beer when we go to a brewery. I'm excited to see what lies behind those walls at Tonic and Eios that are so mysterious to me at this time. I'm excited to be able to see Robert play shows at bars. That could be cool, we'll see.
I have already planned the first couple of things I will do as a 21 year old with my new rights. 1. I will buy Julie a Corona at Freebird's. (It's been a dream of ours for a long time). 2. I will go to a club downtown. 3. I will go wine tasting. 4. I will learn how to make some sort of drink and make it for everyone I know. Then, I will patiently wait for Ashley to turn 21 so she can join me in these endeavors.
I haven't written a post in a while. I know exactly why too. I have so much going on in my head that I am trying to work out, so how do you put it onto paper (or a computer screen in this case)? It's difficult, but I guess that's what friends are for. They help you work out things that may seem unworkable. I don't want to give you the impression that I'm unhappy. That is not the case at all. In fact, I have been trying to work out how much I love life recently. I suppose I should summarize what has been happening in the last few weeks/months. Let's see...we could start with the end of last quarter.
I had an amazing quarter academically. I really felt like I hit it right. I was constantly in contact with every one of my teachers and I just felt like I was doing my absolute best. Then, at the end of the quarter it was Julie's birthday. We wore pretty dresses (after seven hours or more of looking), went to eat at Cheesecake Factory, and had lots and lots of fun. I even made her a feast and it was delicious. My relatives seem to really understand how to make a good chocolate cake. Then, it was time for spring break. Let me just tell you, I had an AMAZING spring break. It was so relaxing and wonderful. The first couple of days Laura was here and of course we went to the beach and did the Santa Barbara relaxing thing. Then, Ashley and I embarked for a best friends trip, and we had the time of our lives. We got to L.A. (shout out to Kristina for letting us use her bed!) and went to Souplantation because, well, we needed a delicious meal before a busy day. The next morning we went to Disneyland (after a quick detour to go back and get the camera, couldn't have forgotten that). We spent the whole day there, I wasn't sure if we were going to make it, but it was so magical. We went on so many rides, ate soooo much good food and just had a lovely time. Day 2 was L.A. Zoo day (super awesome) and then John Mayer. Let me just tell you something about John Mayer in concert. He is amazing. He might be a tool, but his musical talent and gratitude and grace just illuminates from the stage when he plays live. It makes you want to cry. The next day it was back to Disneyland for a more relaxing, but equally amazing day. We ended it with an 80's cover band concert and headed home to Santa Barbara. Back to Santa Barbara for the spring. Not bad, eh? More like awesome. I love this place so much. I have really found myself and established how to be what I want to be. The fact that it's my last quarter at UCSB makes me sad, but I know this has the potential to be the best quarter of my life. UCSB is about school, yes, and the academic experience has been to die for, but it's also been about being a Gaucho. What does that mean to me? Well, enjoying the ocean, savoring every experience, letting trivial and sometimes crucial, but uncontrollable things go, and just always remembering that life goes on. You can't have a bad day when the Pacific Ocean is minutes away. It's just not right.
I am going all out this quarter. I have tried soooo hard. Maybe harder than I have ever tried at school before. I go to office hours consistently, fight grades, and study more often than not. I've even had to cancel work some days in order to study more. I thought this week was going to be a struggle. Too many distractions, excitements, etc. I nailed it. I feel like I have nothing to do, which of course is a false belief, but man it feels good.
What am I going to do about it? I'm going to go to the beach. I have to. It's too nice outside not to. I live in Santa Barbara. It's the middle of March and it's suitable weather to be walking around in a bathing suit.
On a side note, I have to tell you how much I love my friends. I could see them for two hours, even ten minutes and they make my day. They don't have to do anything either, just be around me. It makes taking everything that sucks a lot easier. Even better? Friends and the beach. That's why Julie and I will be using our long breaks between classes tomorrow to go to the beach. I think this is the most planned beach trip I have had since I moved to Santa Barbara, but I think the weather will cooperate.
On an even sider note, Taylor Swift and Jack Johnson have been getting me through dead week. It's so much easier to write papers with artistic and emotional stimulation from these people. ha ha ha ha.
"I didn't know what i would find when I went looking for a reason. I didn't read between the lines and baby I've got no where to go. I tried to take the road less traveled, but nothing seems to work the first three times. Am I right?"
I want a dog. REALLY BAD. I went to the animal shelter today. There were SO MANY dogs. Dogs of every kind too. Many times there is an excess of pitbulls and I don't want a pitbull, so the options are limited, but today there were puppies. LAB puppies that were only 8 weeks old. I wanted to take one home and keep it forever and ever and ever. There was also lab/sharpei mix. I didn't think I liked sharpeis, but this dog was pretty darn cute. I looked up sharpeis and I don't know about their personalities. We'll have to see. Maybe life will allow a puppy soon.
So I didn't have a very good day...It was rainy, I was in a bad mood, and it just seemed to be getting worse and worse with time. I really didn't want to be at work, but I had to go. I pick up Andrew from a friends house early because his mom got an e-mail from his teacher saying he got in trouble at school because he didn't finish his classwork. Let the yell fest begin. He starts screaming in the car saying his playdate wasn't long enough and he hates school and all the rest of it. I've learned to accept his screaming and talk to him about it after.
Anyway, the car conversation (for lack of a better word) went from him telling me he hates school, me telling him there are kids in other countries who would really want to take his place and be in school, him telling me school is free, me explaining taxes, him telling me taxes are stupid, but if they exist then why don't other countries use them, me explaining poverty and government corruption, and him asking what he could do about it. Sometimes I think he's too smart for a nine year old and his own good.
Then we go inside and get to work. His poem was actually a really stupid assignment, but I couldn't tell him that because he would have just had another tantrum. He had to write a poem called "If you stepped into my heart you would find..." and then come up with all these different things like, something from nature, something you can hear, something you can see, a feeling from your past. There were some highlights for sure. Something from nature-"ancient bird poo" I let it slide cause it was just too funny. Then, a feeling from the past-"feeling like a midget"...also too funny to tell him no. Then we get to the very last two things: Someone you love and how they make you feel. He gets all shy and looks down at his own stomach. He says "I think I'm looking at it". I didn't get it. I said, " you love yourself? That's all you can think of? What about your mom or da..." "NOOO! I am looking at her..." "Who?" "You! I love you, ok?" I tried to resist emotion. Okay, you can write me if you want. You should probably write "my babysitter" because your teacher won't understand if you just write my name.
Okay...last one..."how do I make you feel Andrew?" "I don't know...sometimes it's hard to describe things." "Yeah, you're right. It's really hard to describe love. But I mean, when I think about my friends, Julie makes me feel important and valued, Ashley makes me feel loved, and Trent makes me laugh, which are all reasons why I love th..." "Well, you make me feel all of those things." "Ok, well can you maybe pick one?" "You make me feel...loved I think? But you also make me laugh and you put up with me when I yell at you and no one else does." "Ok...well you could just say that I make you feel..." "Great. I'm just going to write that you make me feel great."
I almost cried. Man, sometimes I can't imagine what it will be like when he gets too old for a babysitter.
Recently one of my teachers assigned a rather intriguing project. We had to compile a list of the coolest places we had ever been. The list had to include a variety of places, some that could never exist again, some that are changing, but still generally the same, some ordinary and some extraordinary. It may be the coolest assignment I have ever gotten. So far I have a lot of things to add, it makes me realize how lucky I am.
1. The top of the Eiffel Tower: never have I been somewhere so busy, but so serene. There were tons of people, but looking out at the whole city of Paris you literally feel alone.
2. The glass window bottom of the Kapalua Kai in Maui: We were on a whale watching boat and a female and her baby took shelter under our boat while males tried to show off around us. At the bottom of the boat, there was a glass window where I could see the baby whale's eye. Pretty incredible.
3. The 4th row at the Greek Theater during a Goo Goo Dolls concert: Almost didn't go to the concert and ended up getting incredible seats. Even though it wasn't the best band I've ever seen...it was the best concert.
4. Campus Point: It's just beautiful, let's be honest.
5: The Madison's at Sunset: Easily the prettiest sunsets I have ever seen. You can see UCSB, the Channel Islands, and SB city lights with the sun setting in like fourteen different colors. For some reason, it's better there than anywhere else in Santa Barbara.
6. 6648 Trigo #2A's Balcony: It was just too much fun, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
7. Lizard's Mouth: It's always pretty and always an adventure. It makes me feel like I am a cougar. Rwar. Hahahahahaha
You belong among the wildflowers. You belong in a boat out at sea. Sail away, kill off the hours. You belong somewhere you feel free.
The other day, I was complaining to my dad that my name is too common. He laughed at me. Turns out, when my parents chose to name me Emily it was considered a bit of a hippie name and they were given a little grief. A lot of things seemed to make sense at that moment.
Run away, find you a lover. Go away somewhere all bright and new. I have seen no other that compares with you.
I do not really consider myself to be a hippie. I mean, what makes a person a hippie? I shower often, I shave my armpits and legs, and I don't experiment with copious amounts and varieties of drugs.
You belong among the wildflowers. You belong in a boat out at sea. You belong with your love on your arm. You belong somewhere you feel free.
I do believe in and promote peace and love. I do enjoy deep, meaningful, and spiritual music. I do like to wear flowers in my hair and spin in the grass, but I think all of these things are me just enjoying being a kid. I do like to live without too many strings attached, I like to live free. Some of the things I believe in may sound hippiesque, but I think they are just big goals so other people are afraid of them.
Run away, go find a lover. Run away, let your heart be your guide. You deserve the deepest of cover. You belong in that home by and by.
I think being in Santa Barbara has made me think more in line with the thinking of hippies. Sometimes I find myself saying things like, "I just want to go to the beach" or "I just need to sit in the sun" or "I wish everyone was just nice". In Northern California, these things might be labeled as "hippie". In Santa Barbara though, these things are waaaay more acceptable.
You belong among the wildflowers. You belong somewhere close to me. Far away from your trouble and worry. You belong somewhere you feel free. You belong somewhere you feel free.
Shhh...I think that's why I like Santa Barbara. It's okay to be free here. It's okay to gallop down the beach. Who cares? Everyone is pretty into enjoying it all.
I have lived in Isla Vista for almost three years. THREE YEARS. It feels like time has really flown by, and yet, this feels so much like home already. I have met sooo many people that I will never forget, and days and nights that will seriously go down in my history books forever. I have highlighted some of those times (only the positive ones), featuring some of those people here.
1. I'll set the scene. Kimi and Andrew decide to visit Santa Barbara. Ashley, Robert, Kimi, Andrew, Julie, and Me=sleepover. First we went out to dinner at Longboards. Some crazy valet man takes a blury picture for us, then we hung out back in 207B. Best Trop night for sure. Legendary.
2. The Swede takes us out on the town. Black dress night. Nathalie screaming her head off, parading around IV together. Jamie's house, boys house, our house, Courtney's house, Marley House, some other house on DP, repeat. Thus starting the Trigo glory. 3. Downtown at Q's. Getting Julie's ID (sketchy), dancing all night (some creepers involved), losing Trent, finding Trent, taking pictures in the middle of State Street, again, the swede :-). Who's ready to turn 21?... You're LeBron! Smile with your lady friend!
4. ASVT. Bill's Bus I love you. You are the most fun thing ever to exist. Please take me for free everywhere always. The babies visiting made it pretty fun too. 5. My 20th Birthday. Pretty much enough said, but I'll elaborate. The stick. Ok, done. Jk. Jamie being crazy for another night, wearing a pretty dress, paparazzi pictures with strangers. The next night, Bill, again, thank you so much for your hospitality, dancing for hours and hours and hours. Just Julio, Antonio, and Emilio like old times.
6. 4th of July. The first best time on Sueno. Irish dancing and chanting USA. Ribs, cheesy bread, Trigo roof, being sad, fireworks from all directions, hopping fences. 7. West Beach Music Festival. Music on the beach, getting lost with Julie, being found with Julie, seeing Max, seeing the twins, seeing Ashley and Kurt and Scott, seeing everyone we knew and more, dancing, blow up slide, waiting for the shuttle, waiting for a taxi, walking all the way back to Florida's, turtles on the way, phone booth on the way. 8. Ashley's 20th Birthday- The blow up waterslide, Marcella, tangerines and lemonade, the weather breaking at 4:30 pm, Max popping balloons in the hallway, Julie going in with her clothes on, Marcella napping.
9. New Years week 2010- Kimi visiting, bowling, babies visiting, Julie surprising me, running to Freebird's barefooted and blasting music, running home from Freebirds blasting music.
I can't wait for the list to grow. The key: no expectations and you will never be dissapointed. Fact.
Graduation is 5 and a half months away. Echk. I never ever ever want to leave UCSB. Grace, the six year old I babysit for, had gymnastics on campus yesterday. We parked at the Rec Cen, and walked, swinging hands in synchrony, talking about UCSB. She asked me if I knew any of the kids that were by the bike racks. I didn't, and explained that there are 20,000 students at UCSB, which is much more than at Mountain View Elementary, and so it's impossible to know everyone. Just then, I see some one that I knew. It made me realize how connected I am at UCSB. No, I don't know even a tenth of the 20,000, but I do know a whole heck of a lot of people. We're all different, but in some way we are all alike as well. We all worked hard enough at some point in our lives to make it here. We all also chose to forgo the opportunities to study at more prestigious universities such as UCLA or Stanford because we valued something else more. Be it student life, the ocean, or the party scene. We are all students. We're sponges soaking up the knowledge of those smarter than us with some hope of someday being that smart.
I'm staying in Santa Barbara after graduation. I am no where near ready to leave yet. So I won't miss the ocean, I'll still be living blocks away. I won't miss the student life, I'll still go to soccer games and have connections (Ashley and Julie) in. Heck, I might even be able to go to classes with them. I'll turn 21, and won't be missing out on any opportunities for the party scene.
I will miss sitting in class. I'll miss listening to the smartest people in the world talk about their passion. I'll miss biking from Sueno to Phelps, and back. I'll miss taking notes and doodling in the margin. I'll miss finding out what friends I have in classes, and what people I'll debate all quarter if I should sit next to or not, only to have the quarter pass me by. I'll miss Dr. Baldwin's box with a post it smiley face that represents an infant. I'll miss Dr. Klein's cynicism and sarcastic jokes. I'll miss Dr. Koegel's geeky laugh and kind nature. I'll miss Dr. Revlin's comb over and demos. I'll miss sitting on the lawn or walking to the beach in between classes. I'll miss teachers taking class outside because it's just too nice to be inside. I'll miss the kids showing up to class in a wetsuit with a surfboard because they were running a little late. I'll miss never seeing a kid fall asleep in class.
What do I do until then? I appreciate it. What else can you do?
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right
We got a hike in before the rain. That was a week ago, it feels like a month ago. Being a psychology major, I have learned about mood disorders, some of which come from a change, often in the weather. This week I began to really understand it. It's so easy to get moody, sad, or irritated when it's raining. Some people totally love the rain. I am, however, not one of these people.
Little darling, it's been a long cold winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right.
When I moved to Santa Barbara I knew it was going to be pretty. I didn't know that it would be gorgeous. My oldest sister was moving away from Santa Barbara one month after I arrived. She had lived here for I think six years and really her only piece of advice for me was to swim in the ocean. She hadn't been fully submerged in the ocean in the past couple of years and really regretted it. I thought that was silly. Of course I'd be going to the beach all the time, and of course I'd be in the ocean.
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right.
I'd say I've done a pretty good job appreciating my surroundings in the past 2.5 years. When I drive, walk, or bike past the ocean, it still takes my breath away. Yes, I have swam in the waves quite a few times and I've even surfed. Last year, during winter quarter I successfully touched the ocean every single day. We've had BBQ's, parties, hang outs, and even night adventures all at the beach.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
The weather man says the sun's coming back tomorrow. He better be right. Our winter's been really long (it's been raining for a whole week and a half!), and I'm ready for it to be spring. I'm ready to wear dresses and take naps in our back yard and swim in the ocean with the dolphins. I'm ready to leave all the doors and windows open in our house and listen to music and study in the sun. I'm ready to bike to school in shorts and a tank top and not have to worry about bringing a jacket anywhere. I'm ready for it to be Santa Barbara again.
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right. It's all right.
I'm ready for it to be home again. I'm ready to show it off again.
On Christmas Eve my roommate and best friend, Ashley delivered the second half of my Christmas present to my front door at home. When we are in the bay area we have this weird habit of always hanging out together. Turns out we literally (LITERALLY) can't live without each other. It was pretty normal that she was over on this night and the present was pretty standard (she has this habit of creating adorable and sentimental presents). She delivered a red velvet cupcake and a letter. I wasn't supposed to open it until Christmas, but yeah right. I lost patience two hours after she left and I opened it. I was alone in my room, and as lame as it is, as I was reading the letter I started bawling. It was easily one of the top three best letters I have ever received.
The reason I tell you this story is because I was recently cleaning up and I found this letter I speak of. I am not a huge advocate of new years resolutions. I think we should resolve to always be better and the new year seems like sort of a silly time to randomly decide to start. However, this letter made me re-evaluate what I need to work on. So here are my non-new years resolutions for life at this moment and forever:
1. Have more fun
2. Be less stressed out, even when there is more stress to worry about
3. Stop getting mad at friends, totally not worth it
So, I know I said this wasn't going to be a blog about my 101 list, but sometimes that's the most exciting thing happening (especially when I'm sick), so I must let you know about it. I don't really like letting other people do things for me. It makes me feel helpless and like a stupid girl, and believe me, no one wants to be a stupid girl. Many of the things on my list of 101 things to complete are items that will make me do something I would normally do the exact opposite of. For example: number 87. Let someone else (other than my parents) make me dinner and clean up. Last night, I let Ashley make me enchilladas and clean up. No help at all from me. Was it difficult? No, not so much. Did I feel a little guilty? Yes. That's okay, baby steps. The food was so yummy and not having to work for it at all felt pretty nice. Perhaps this will become a regular occurance. :-)
If you're reading this, chances are you are either in my family, one of my roommates, a very close friend, or just an extremely bored acquaintance. Of course, no matter what you are, you are welcome to read my random thoughts. There may be a lot of questions that you have about this blog, which I aim to answer in this post.
1. WHY? This blog is a part of a list of things to do (101 things, to be exact), that I have created in response to a challenge (called the day zero project) proposed by my wonderful roommate Marcella. She's pretty great and I like her a lot, so I try and be like her. One of the items on my list was to create a blog. I have always been intrigued by bloggers because I have been journaling almost my entire life and have been quite sneaky and private about it. Turns out, not all bloggers are crying for attention or dark and twisty, so it's okay for me to start blogging and being public with some of my thoughts on the world.
2. WHAT? I do not intend on writing about all of the things on my 101 things to do list. Instead, I hope to write periodically about different things going on in my life. I am currently six months away from graduation and my life is pretty exciting, but uncertain. There are a lot of things going on in my head that are acceptable to release to the world, so I intend on doing so.
3. THE NAME? When I was in junior high I wanted to create a new address (I was too cool for the dixiechick1989 user name my step-brother had created for me a few years prior). At the time, the new Disney Channel original movie was called Tru Confessions. Tru was a girl and she seemed like an admirable character, so my e-mail address became emconfessions. Then, in my first year in Santa Barbara, my friends Ashley and Robert saw on my computer emconfessions, but misinterpreted it as emoconfessions. Of course, I have not lived it down and emo confessions seems like an appropriate description of a blog.
4. THE PICTURE? All credits to Ashley Antoon Algieri. She took it for an art class and I can't help but giggle every time I see it. Also, the only picture I have on my computer of me by my self.
I think that's all you really need to know. I'll just start writing and if you have questions, you may ask me as we come to them.
I graduated from UCSB and I miss being a college student dearly. I am starting law school which is exciting, but also very scary. I love the ocean and spending time with friends and going on adventures.
