Humility

So I didn't have a very good day...It was rainy, I was in a bad mood, and it just seemed to be getting worse and worse with time. I really didn't want to be at work, but I had to go. I pick up Andrew from a friends house early because his mom got an e-mail from his teacher saying he got in trouble at school because he didn't finish his classwork. Let the yell fest begin. He starts screaming in the car saying his playdate wasn't long enough and he hates school and all the rest of it. I've learned to accept his screaming and talk to him about it after.

Anyway, the car conversation (for lack of a better word) went from him telling me he hates school, me telling him there are kids in other countries who would really want to take his place and be in school, him telling me school is free, me explaining taxes, him telling me taxes are stupid, but if they exist then why don't other countries use them, me explaining poverty and government corruption, and him asking what he could do about it. Sometimes I think he's too smart for a nine year old and his own good.

Then we go inside and get to work. His poem was actually a really stupid assignment, but I couldn't tell him that because he would have just had another tantrum. He had to write a poem called "If you stepped into my heart you would find..." and then come up with all these different things like, something from nature, something you can hear, something you can see, a feeling from your past. There were some highlights for sure. Something from nature-"ancient bird poo" I let it slide cause it was just too funny. Then, a feeling from the past-"feeling like a midget"...also too funny to tell him no. Then we get to the very last two things: Someone you love and how they make you feel. He gets all shy and looks down at his own stomach. He says "I think I'm looking at it". I didn't get it. I said, " you love yourself? That's all you can think of? What about your mom or da..."
"NOOO! I am looking at her..."
"Who?"
"You! I love you, ok?"
I tried to resist emotion. Okay, you can write me if you want. You should probably write "my babysitter" because your teacher won't understand if you just write my name.

Okay...last one..."how do I make you feel Andrew?"
"I don't know...sometimes it's hard to describe things."
"Yeah, you're right. It's really hard to describe love. But I mean, when I think about my friends, Julie makes me feel important and valued, Ashley makes me feel loved, and Trent makes me laugh, which are all reasons why I love th..."
"Well, you make me feel all of those things."
"Ok, well can you maybe pick one?"
"You make me feel...loved I think? But you also make me laugh and you put up with me when I yell at you and no one else does."
"Ok...well you could just say that I make you feel..."
"Great. I'm just going to write that you make me feel great."

I almost cried. Man, sometimes I can't imagine what it will be like when he gets too old for a babysitter.

The Coolest Places I Have Ever Been

Recently one of my teachers assigned a rather intriguing project. We had to compile a list of the coolest places we had ever been. The list had to include a variety of places, some that could never exist again, some that are changing, but still generally the same, some ordinary and some extraordinary. It may be the coolest assignment I have ever gotten. So far I have a lot of things to add, it makes me realize how lucky I am.

1. The top of the Eiffel Tower: never have I been somewhere so busy, but so serene. There were tons of people, but looking out at the whole city of Paris you literally feel alone.

2. The glass window bottom of the Kapalua Kai in Maui: We were on a whale watching boat and a female and her baby took shelter under our boat while males tried to show off around us. At the bottom of the boat, there was a glass window where I could see the baby whale's eye. Pretty incredible.

3. The 4th row at the Greek Theater during a Goo Goo Dolls concert: Almost didn't go to the concert and ended up getting incredible seats. Even though it wasn't the best band I've ever seen...it was the best concert.

4. Campus Point: It's just beautiful, let's be honest.

5: The Madison's at Sunset: Easily the prettiest sunsets I have ever seen. You can see UCSB, the Channel Islands, and SB city lights with the sun setting in like fourteen different colors. For some reason, it's better there than anywhere else in Santa Barbara.

6. 6648 Trigo #2A's Balcony: It was just too much fun, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

7. Lizard's Mouth: It's always pretty and always an adventure. It makes me feel like I am a cougar. Rwar. Hahahahahaha

You belong among the wildflowers...

You belong among the wildflowers. You belong in a boat out at sea. Sail away, kill off the hours. You belong somewhere you feel free.

The other day, I was complaining to my dad that my name is too common. He laughed at me. Turns out, when my parents chose to name me Emily it was considered a bit of a hippie name and they were given a little grief. A lot of things seemed to make sense at that moment.

Run away, find you a lover. Go away somewhere all bright and new. I have seen no other that compares with you.

I do not really consider myself to be a hippie. I mean, what makes a person a hippie? I shower often, I shave my armpits and legs, and I don't experiment with copious amounts and varieties of drugs.

You belong among the wildflowers. You belong in a boat out at sea. You belong with your love on your arm. You belong somewhere you feel free.

I do believe in and promote peace and love. I do enjoy deep, meaningful, and spiritual music. I do like to wear flowers in my hair and spin in the grass, but I think all of these things are me just enjoying being a kid. I do like to live without too many strings attached, I like to live free. Some of the things I believe in may sound hippiesque, but I think they are just big goals so other people are afraid of them.

Run away, go find a lover. Run away, let your heart be your guide. You deserve the deepest of cover. You belong in that home by and by.

I think being in Santa Barbara has made me think more in line with the thinking of hippies. Sometimes I find myself saying things like, "I just want to go to the beach" or "I just need to sit in the sun" or "I wish everyone was just nice". In Northern California, these things might be labeled as "hippie". In Santa Barbara though, these things are waaaay more acceptable.

You belong among the wildflowers. You belong somewhere close to me. Far away from your trouble and worry. You belong somewhere you feel free. You belong somewhere you feel free.

Shhh...I think that's why I like Santa Barbara. It's okay to be free here. It's okay to gallop down the beach. Who cares? Everyone is pretty into enjoying it all.